gayseawitch:

lorenzomakesthings:

ranagazoo:

saint-bmo:

anachronizomai:

myfightcomesintothelight:

"You’re the straightest gay guy I kn-"

Don’t.

"You’re not like those other gay people who go to those awful pride para-"

No.

"You’re gay? Then why don’t you hit on me or other gu-"

No.

"I have this other gay friend, you’d be a perfect cou-"

No.

"At least you act norm-"
Stop.

"I’m straight but would you suck my dick for 20 dol-"

Maybe

frickin-plot-twist:

*violently refreshes your blog until you answer my anon message* 

toastdurr:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

hELL YES

image

VERY IMPORTANTE


ibelieveinmartinfreeman
:

THINGS I’VE LEARNED NOT TO DO WHILE MAKING PANCAKES:

  1.  DON´T TOUCH THE PAN TO MAKE SURE IT’S HOT

    image (that’s a bandaid by the way)

  2. DON’T LEAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR FINGER WHILE THERE´S STILL A PANCAKE IN THE PAN

    image
babylonian:

tip #1: text her “I H8 U” while standing right in front of her, a baller ass move she’ll never see coming

babylonian:

tip #1: text her “I H8 U” while standing right in front of her, a baller ass move she’ll never see coming

susemoji:

Come inside to secret dog HQ

susemoji:

Come inside to secret dog HQ

officialunitedstates:

it is not your fault if you fail.  you are made up of billions of cells.  it is their fault